Archived Jokes » Little Johnny

Smarter Than You Think

admin — Sun, 07 Dec 2014 20:26:49 +0000

There was a little boy named Johnny who used to hang out at the local corner market. The owner didn’t know what Johnny’s problem was, but the boys would constantly tease him.

They would always comment that he was two bricks shy of a load or two pickles short of a barrel. To prove it, sometimes they would offer Johnny his choice between a nickel (5 cents) and a dime (10 cents) and Johnny would always take the nickel (they said) because it was bigger.

One day after Johnny grabbed the nickel, the store owner took him aside and said “Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. They think you don’t know the dime is worth more than the nickel. Are you grabbing the nickel because it’s bigger, or what?”

With a big grin on his face, Johnny slowly turned toward the store owner. “Well,” he answered, “If I took the dime, they’d stop doing it, and so far I’ve saved $20!”

Little Johnny Meets Obama

admin — Sun, 07 Dec 2014 20:24:55 +0000

Barack Obama was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the president if he would like to lead the discussion on the word ‘tragedy.’ So our illustrious president asked the class for an example of a ‘tragedy.’

One little boy stood up and offered: ‘If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy.’

‘No,’ said Obama, ‘that would be an accident.’

A little girl raised her hand: ‘If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.’

‘I’m afraid not,’ explained Obama. ‘That’s what we would call great loss.’

The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Obama searched the room. ‘Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?’

Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: ‘If the plane carrying you and Mrs. Obama was struck by a ‘friendly fire’ missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy.’

‘Fantastic!’ exclaimed Obama. ‘That’s right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?’

‘Well,’ says the boy, ‘It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn’t be a great loss…and it probably wouldn’t be an accident either.’

Fred and Mary get married

admin — Sun, 07 Dec 2014 20:23:30 +0000

Fred and Mary get married but can’t afford a honeymoon, so they go back to mom and dads for the night.

In the morning, little Johnny gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his mum if Fred and Mary are up yet.

She replies, “No”.

Johnny asks, “Do you know what I think? ” His mom replies, “Never mind what you think! Just go to school.”

Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, “Is Fred and Mary up yet?” She replies, “No.”

Johnny says, “Do you know what I think?” His mom replies, “Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school.”

After school, he comes home and asks, “Is Fred and Mary up yet?” His mom says, “No.”

Johnny asks, “Do you know what I think?” His mom replies, “OK! What do you think?”

He says, “Well, last night Fred came in for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue.”