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	<title>Archived Jokes &#187; Life</title>
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		<title>Growing old in Wyoming!</title>
		<link>https://www.archivedjokes.com/growing-old-in-wyoming/</link>
		<comments>https://www.archivedjokes.com/growing-old-in-wyoming/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 08 Dec 2014 02:55:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[admin]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Life]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.archivedjokes.com/?p=316</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p>This is what it is like to grow old in the mountains!</p> <p></p> ]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This is what it is like to grow old in the mountains!</p>
<p><img class="alignnone wp-image-317 size-full" src="http://www.archivedjokes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/GrowingOld.jpg" alt="GrowingOld" width="572" height="427" /></p>
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		<title>Taxi Ride</title>
		<link>https://www.archivedjokes.com/taxi-ride/</link>
		<comments>https://www.archivedjokes.com/taxi-ride/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 08 Dec 2014 01:44:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[admin]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Life]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.archivedjokes.com/?p=280</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p>I arrived at the address where someone had requested a taxi. I honked but no one came out. I honked again, nothing. So I walked to the door and knocked. &#8216;Just a minute,&#8217; answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened. A [...]]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I arrived at the address where someone had requested a taxi. I honked but no one came out. I honked again, nothing. So I walked to the door and knocked. &#8216;Just a minute,&#8217; answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90&#8217;s stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie.</p>
<p>By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.</p>
<p>There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.</p>
<p>&#8216;Would you carry my bag out to the car?&#8217; she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, and then returned to assist the woman.</p>
<p>She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.</p>
<p>She kept thanking me for my kindness. &#8216;It&#8217;s nothing,&#8217; I told her. &#8216;I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated.&#8217; &#8216;Oh, you&#8217;re such a good boy,&#8217; she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, and then asked, &#8216;Could you drive through downtown?&#8217;</p>
<p>&#8216;It&#8217;s not the shortest way,&#8217; I answered quickly. &#8216;Oh, I don&#8217;t mind,&#8217; she said. &#8216;I&#8217;m in no hurry. I&#8217;m on my way to a hospice.&#8217;</p>
<p>I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. &#8216;I don&#8217;t have any family left,&#8217; she continued. &#8216;The doctor says I don&#8217;t have very long.&#8217; I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.</p>
<p>&#8216;What route would you like me to take?&#8217; I asked.</p>
<p>For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.</p>
<p>We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.</p>
<p>Sometimes she&#8217;d ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.</p>
<p>As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, &#8216;I&#8217;m tired. Let&#8217;s go now.&#8217;</p>
<p>We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.</p>
<p>Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her.</p>
<p>I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.</p>
<p>&#8216;How much do I owe you?&#8217; she asked, reaching into her purse. &#8216;Nothing,&#8217; I said</p>
<p>&#8216;You have to make a living,&#8217; she answered.</p>
<p>&#8216;There are other passengers,&#8217; I responded.</p>
<p>Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.</p>
<p>&#8216;You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,&#8217; she said.</p>
<p>&#8216;Thank you.&#8217;</p>
<p>I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life. I didn&#8217;t pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away? On a quick review, I don&#8217;t think that I have done anything more important in my life. We&#8217;re conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.</p>
<p>PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID, BUT THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.</p>
<p>Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.</p>
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		<title>Life Explained</title>
		<link>https://www.archivedjokes.com/life-explained/</link>
		<comments>https://www.archivedjokes.com/life-explained/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 08 Dec 2014 01:43:31 +0000</pubDate>
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				<category><![CDATA[Life]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.archivedjokes.com/?p=278</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p>On the first day God created the dog. God said, &#8220;Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I Will give you a life span of twenty years.&#8221;</p> <p>The dog said, &#8220;That&#8217;s too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I&#8217;ll give [...]]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>On the first day God created the dog. God said, &#8220;Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I Will give you a life span of twenty years.&#8221;</p>
<p>The dog said, &#8220;That&#8217;s too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I&#8217;ll give you back the other ten.&#8221; So God agreed.</p>
<p>On the second day God created the monkey. God said, &#8220;Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I&#8217;ll give you a twenty-year life span.&#8221;</p>
<p>The monkey said, &#8220;How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don&#8217;t think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that&#8217;s what I&#8217;ll do too, okay?&#8221; And God agreed.</p>
<p>On the third day God created the cow. God said, &#8220;You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have Calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years.&#8221;</p>
<p>The cow said, &#8220;That&#8217;s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I&#8217;ll give back the other forty.&#8221; And God agreed again.</p>
<p>On the forth day God created man. God said, &#8220;Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. I&#8217;ll give you twenty years.&#8221;</p>
<p>Man said, &#8220;What? Only twenty years! Tell you what, I&#8217;ll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back and the ten the monkey gave back and The ten the dog gave back, that makes eighty, okay?&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Okay,&#8221; said God, &#8220;You&#8217;ve got a deal.&#8221;</p>
<p>So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.</p>
<p>Life has now been explained to you.</p>
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