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	<title>Archived Jokes &#187; Laws</title>
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		<title>Universal Laws</title>
		<link>https://www.archivedjokes.com/universal-laws/</link>
		<comments>https://www.archivedjokes.com/universal-laws/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 07 Dec 2014 20:19:06 +0000</pubDate>
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				<category><![CDATA[Laws]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.archivedjokes.com/?p=196</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p>Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you&#8217;ll have to pee.</p> <p>Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.</p> <p>Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.</p> <p>Law [...]]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you&#8217;ll have to pee.</p>
<p>Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.</p>
<p>Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.</p>
<p>Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.</p>
<p>Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.</p>
<p>Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time)</p>
<p>Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.</p>
<p>Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don&#8217;t want to be seen with.</p>
<p>Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won&#8217;t work, it will.</p>
<p>Law of Bio mechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.</p>
<p>Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.</p>
<p>Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.</p>
<p>Murphy&#8217;s Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.</p>
<p>Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.</p>
<p>Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.</p>
<p>Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don&#8217;t know what you are talking about.</p>
<p>Brown&#8217;s Law: If the shoe fits, it&#8217;s ugly.</p>
<p>Oliver&#8217;s Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.</p>
<p>Wilson&#8217;s Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.</p>
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