She begins to pray…”God, please help me. I’ve lost my business and if I don’t get some money, I’m going to lose my [...]]]> A blonde woman named Brandi finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she’s in serious financial straits. She’s so desperate that she decides to ask God for help.

She begins to pray…”God, please help me. I’ve lost my business and if I don’t get some money, I’m going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto.” Lotto night comes and she does not win. Brandi again prays… “God, please let me win the lotto! I’ve lost my business, my house and now I’m going to lose my car.” Lotto night comes and Brandi still has no luck. Once again, she prays… “Dear Lord, why have you forsaken me?? I’ve lost my business, my house, my car. My children are starving. I don’t often ask for help, and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEEEEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order.” Suddenly, there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Brandi is confronted by the voice of God himself… “Brandi, work with me on this. Buy a ticket!”

When she asked him why he was apparently not going to make love to her, he replied, ‘It’s Lent.’ In tears, she sobbed, ‘Well, [...]]]> On their honeymoon, the blonde bride slipped into a sexy nightie and, with great anticipation, crawled into bed, only to find her new Catholic husband had settled down on the couch.

When she asked him why he was apparently not going to make love to her, he replied, ‘It’s Lent.’ In tears, she sobbed, ‘Well, that is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard! Who did you lend it to, and for how long?’

The salesman assures her that they have a large selection of pink curtains. He shows her several patterns, but the blonde seems to be having a hard time choosing. Finally she selects a lovely pink [...]]]> A blonde enters a drapery shop. She tells the salesman, “I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains.”

The salesman assures her that they have a large selection of pink curtains. He shows her several patterns, but the blonde seems to be having a hard time choosing. Finally she selects a lovely pink floral print.

The salesman then asks what size curtains she needs. The blonde promptly replies, “Fifteen inches.”

“Fifteen inches?” asked the salesman. “That sounds very small – what room are they for?”

The blonde tells him that they aren’t for a room, they are for her computer monitor.

The surprised salesman replies, “But Miss, computers do not need curtains!”

The blonde says, “Hellllooooooooo. I’ve got Windoooooows!”

The other replies, “HELLOOOOO, can you see London from here?????!!!!!”