2. When I was young we used to go “skinny dipping”………. now I just “chunky dunk.”

3. How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

4. If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

5. Why [...]]]> 1. Can you cry under water?

2. When I was young we used to go “skinny dipping”………. now I just “chunky dunk.”

3. How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

4. If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

5. Why do you have to “put your two cents in”… but it’s only a penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going?

6. Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

7. Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

8. How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

9. Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wakeup every two hours?

10. If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

11. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

12. How come we choose from two people for President, and fifty for Miss America?

13. If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

14. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing…….. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn’t have signed up in the first place!

15. Wouldn’t it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press ‘Ctrl-Alt-delete’ and start all over?

16. Stress is when you wake up screaming, then realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.

17. Just remember…….if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.

18. Why is it that our children can’t read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

19. If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!

20. Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to “put your two cents in”… but it’s only a “penny for your [...]]]> If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to “put your two cents in”… but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going to?

Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway.

Why is “bra” singular and “panties” plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat ?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your ass?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?