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One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, ‘Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in ‘Slim Fast’. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!’ His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn’t let such a comment go unrewarded. The next morning the […] A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husband. The women were asked, “How many of you love your husband?” All the women raised their hands. Then they were asked, “When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?” Some women answered […] A loud mouthed smart-ass sat down in the barber’s chair and said, “I’ll have a shave and a shoe shine.” The barber lathered his face and began shaving him with a straight razor while a woman with the most beautiful breasts he had ever seen, knelt down and began to shine his shoes. The […] A Husband is Down in Aisle 5… A husband and wife are shopping in their local supermarket. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart. “What do you think you’re doing?” asks the wife. “They’re on sale, only $10 for 24 cans” he replies. “Put them back, we can’t […] Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances. While attending a Marriage Weekend, Walter and his wife, Ann, listened to the instructor declare, ‘It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.” He then addressed the men, ‘Can you name and describe your […] Because of my mood swings, my husband bought me a mood ring the other day. It’s a marvelous little device. When I’m in a good mood, it turns green. When I’m in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he’ll buy me a diamond. The Man Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Finally , the guys’ side of the story. (I must admit, it’s pretty good.) These are our rules! Please note… these are all numbered “1.” ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are […] A woman gets home, screeches her car into the driveway, runs into the house, slams the door and shouts at the top of her lungs…….”Honey, pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!” The husband says “Oh my God! No Shit?! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?” The wife yells back: “It […] (The depth and breath of this is truly amazing!) A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs. Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man. The first woman said ‘Have you ever had a hug?’ The man said ‘No,’ so she gave […] An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, “Seven Points.” His wife rolls over and says, “What in the world was that?” The old man replied, “It’s fart football.” A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says “Touchdown, tie score.” After about five […] |
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